POWER IN BEING SEEN
Pride 2026
Love includes being seen, truly seen for who you are. It may include friendship, eroticism, sharing of bills, years of memories or just a few months. Love as it matures and blossoms includes being seen and allowing yourself to be seen. This Pride month I’m two months away from my first wedding anniversary with my wife. We decided, in our 40s, to have a wedding - venue, flowers, bridal party, cake and all - to celebrate our love and the love that has multiplied as a result of bringing our friends and families together as we’ve woven our lives together. One of the reasons I wanted to have an actual wedding was to be SEEN. Not in a superficial, see me in a beautiful white gown kind of way (even though I was STUNNING in my gown if I do say so myself!) but to invite those who love us to see our joy, our connection, our blended family, our commitment at a time when families and love like ours is the object of hate, backlash and fear mongering. I wanted to walk down the aisle and see the faces of so many people that I love, believe in, cheer for and stand beside as we do life together.
I’ve fought so hard for this life. I have survived public mistakes and shame, death and loss, friendship and romantic relationship rupture and I’ve pursued healing as if my life depended on it - because it did. The tools from the Enneagram to meditation to therapy and somatic coaching worked because I worked them and continue to as needed. It’s easier to allow myself to be seen now and to slow down and try to see others and hold compassion and curiosity for what I see.
All of that helps me to flourish. To have days that feel like I have what I need, even in the struggle and challenges of life and oppressive systems. I persist. I lend a hand. I get up and try again. So, yeah, this work I do with this model of understanding personality called the Enneagram, this transformative facilitation powered by xchange, it’s not just grounded in theory or techniques. It’s grounded in the understanding of the transformative power of being seen…and ultimately, in love.
